Okay ya’ll, in case you didn’t know, today is my best friend’s birthday. She’s turning 24, and in honor of that number, I have decided to release a list of 24 things that make Christina Reschke the coolest person I know:
1. She has dedicated her life to helping others. She has a bachelor’s degree in social work, and she spent her first year out of college helping children in broken homes find their way into loving ones. In 2015, she’ll graduate from UW-Milwaukee with her master’s degree, putting her one step closer toward her goal of becoming a children’s grief counselor.
2. She is the only person who can talk me down from a crazy fit. I can get embarrassingly dramatic when I’m upset. Whenever I’m in the middle of a meltdown, she is there to press my “off” switch before I say or do something truly insane.
3. Christina is very wise for a 24 year old. Over the years, I’ve saved a lot of text messages from her that have helped me through a rough patch, or just make me think differently about the world. My list is currently 45 messages long and growing.
4. She becomes very enthusiastic at the opportunity to try something new. One time, she and I played laser tag with a bunch of really intense teenagers and had no idea what we were doing. She got so into playing that she was sore over her entire body for the next three days.
5. She introduced me to Jet’s Pizza. ‘Nuff said.
6. Christina is almost saint-like with patience. Seriously. On my last visit, I accidentally brought my library card to the bar instead of my ID and she had to drive another thirty minutes to her apartment and back to retrieve it. There was also this one time that I did something semi-unspeakable in her car and I still can’t believe she didn’t murder me for it. Amazingly, she still calls me her friend
7. She loves Harry Potter. Not just a little bit, either. You should be jealous of all the HP goodies she owns.
8. Christina is a “duty calls” kind of friend. No matter what you need her for, she’s there. Example: one time, I cut my right boob on a tree and she administered first aid, no questions asked.
9. She is my favorite person to binge-watch Girls with. We spent an entire week marathon-ing the first season. There were only ten episodes, so we watched it twice. We live several hours apart now, so we can’t watch the episodes together anymore, but we always call each other to recap the new episodes and her observations are always spot on.
10. She is the least judgmental person on the planet. She has seen me eat three slices of pie in one day, and never once made me feel like the gross slob I really am.
11. She is understanding and really cares about the people in her life. I cannot count the number of times I ran to her room to cry, complain, or commiserate about my life when we were studying abroad together, but it was a lot, and she never turned me away. In fact, she even spent her morning checking in on me, even though it’s her birthday, and the day should be all about her.
12. Christina is a world traveler! She’s been all over the UK and Italy, and she is currently planning a European excursion for her summer after grad school. She plans to live out of a backpack because she is awesome and independent.
13. She is a costume goddess. In her repertoire: “Kate Middleton’s Hen Party,” and “The Evolution of Miley Cyrus.”
14. Christina Reschke is, hands down, the funniest person I know. She deserves her own stand-up special on HBO. Below is a list of phrases I have actually heard come out of her mouth:
- “I feel like as long as you wiggle underneath them for a bit, girls can’t really be bad at sex.”
- “We’re going to be so hot and sexy. We’ll have replaced food with exercise and everything will be perfect.”
- “It’s Venice. All you need to live there is a houseboat and some talent.”
- “I’m walking into the gym right now, but I have to throw away this box of pizza first.”
- “Look, I’m bringing Tit One and Tit Two. And they will definitely be making an appearance tonight.”
- “I’m going to the gym, but I’m wetting down my bangs so if i have to be next to some girl in a crop top on the treadmill, she thinks I’m working harder than her.”
15. She was never allowed to watch Titanic as a child because her parents didn’t think it was right to romanticize historical tragedy. Instead, she watched several documentaries about the Titanic’s maiden (and only) voyage.
16. Christina has a punching bag in her living room. It weighs like 80 pounds. She set it up all alone, and she carried the bag up an entire flight of stairs to get it into her apartment. How badass is that?
17. Christina is the greatest aunt ever. She loves her niece and nephew more than words can express, and I’m really excited for her to be a cool aunt/secret spy for my future children.
18. She eats cereal in the shower nearly every morning of her entire adult life and has only gotten water in her milk once.
19. She has a super cute tattoo with a really meaningful backstory. I don’t know if she would want me to tell you all about it on the Internet since it is kind of personal, but it’s one of my favorite tattoos I’ve ever seen on anyone.
20. Christina helped me get my ID back after an evil bouncer stole it on New Year’s Eve. She literally stopped traffic to make a cop come help me.
21. Christina has the most comfortable bedding on the entire planet.
22. She has an encyclopedic knowledge of the TV show Friends, and she can quote almost every episode from beginning to end, probably because she watches reruns every night as she falls asleep. I presume it’s like her own little weird version of Rosetta Stone.
23. She’s a black belt in karate. I’ve seen her karate chop a gingerbread house. Why? Chuck Norris.
24. She is my dark double. For those of you who know what that is, you know how incredible it is to have someone living a life parallel to your own who can empathize with you about all things all the time. For those of you that don’t get it, oh well.